To The One Who Broke Tradition

Thank you for greeting me on Valentine’s Day. It was unexpected – especially coming from you. It was the one SMS that boldly broke my personal tradition of treating it as just an ordinary day. Family and friends know that I hate the day. I have to say that I shrugged it off after greeting you back. I have a normal day to deal with.

Lying on my bed, analyzing what happened to my day before finally calling it as done and over with, memories of our only legitimately Happy Valentine’s Day crossed my mind. Those bunch of red roses and music albums that made my heart skip a beat and made me smile the whole time – they’re all still fresh as if it happened only yesterday. I can’t believe that it’s been 4 Valentine’s ago.

I am still in the process of picking up the broken pieces of us since then. You and the rest of the men that I loved in my lifetime made me make Valentine’s Day something I shouldn’t be looking forward to. It’s a highly-commercialized event that don’t even deserve a minute of my time to be thinking about.

They say that every day should be Valentine’s Day, just like Christmas. True love doesn’t have to have special dates or occasions. True love transcends time. I hold on to those.

Setting aside my real thoughts about today, I’d like to thank you for breaking tradition – for bravely sending that message – which I hope was from the heart. It made me think that you actually thought of me. Maybe I do matter to you. It may be the only text that you sent to someone to remind you of the “celebration” today. Or maybe I’m part of a group text. I don’t know. I don’t want to assume. You are the only person who can answer that.

Thank you for breaking tradition. I am glad I crossed your mind today for whatever reason there is. Your message was the only good thing that happened today. And for that, I will be ending today, with a grateful heart to you, for making me smile.

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Same Time Last Year

It was exactly a year ago when I wrote something that led me to another year with you.

For whatever reason you had to have the guts to talk to me after what happened, I can only assume. Probably you just wanted to get rid of the guilt you have over what happened between us. But I’d like to think that it’s far from reality that you came back because you wanted to make things right this time.

Fast forward to today, we’ve already had our fair share of what it’s like to be “together” again. Defining whatever we have right now is still far from happening. Countless of times I was already on the verge of asking. But I have great fear of your possible answers.

For now, I’ll let it be. Let time and fate lead me to the answers I’m looking for.

Because I’m a coward. I’m too afraid of the unthinkable. I’m too scared to go back to square one…to start all over again…to finally move on…possibly without you.

Another Goodbye

As much as I wanted to see you tonight before I leave, I opted not to.

Although it’s not a permanent goodbye but more of an I’ll see you soon, it just breaks my heart that I won’t be seeing you again for some time.

I know we don’t feel the same way about it. You’ll go by your usual days. For I am just a random thought for you.

Just the same, I’ll have to get by. I will get by the randomness of the so-called me for you.

Still Grateful

My dog and I are still traumatized by what happened. We are getting by though.

Looking back at what happened, I can only be grateful that we were not harmed. I have faith that the police will find the culprits. Put them behind bars or probably they might get killed along the way. Either way, I just wouldn’t want other people to go through the ordeal that we had.

Thank you to my friends who are making sure that we’re okay and for extending all the help they could give me in all forms.

There will always be something good that would come about after what we went through. I am hopeful and positively thinking of that.

Failed Security

My house was ransacked by robbers last night. Luckily, my dog was left unscathed and so was I.

Just when you think you’re already safe in your own home after that heartbreaking first break-in 2.5 years ago, you realize you are still not.

They have gotten everything I’ve worked for the past 2.5 years and I couldn’t even cry. I felt so numb that all I did was to stare into blank space.

I will have to start somewhere. But for now, let me wallow in my fear and in my desperation to get back everything that I lost – the things would go in second. I am talking about my work.

Surprising Intention

I was surprised to know and hear from you directly that you had the intention of asking me to join your family reunion today – so that they could get to meet me.

Though thought bubbles about that lingered for a while and for whatever intentions you had in mind for that, it made me smile.

Thank you for that smile.

Test of Faith and Strength

God sure has His ways of testing our faith and strength. And it comes at the most unexpected times.

It’s okay to question why things had to happen. But I know for sure that these things happen for a reason and that these trials and challenges can only make you a better person. Don’t lose hope. Keep the faith. See where He will lead you.

I pray that everything will be okay. It will be.