My Dream Come True

It’s a rainy Saturday afternoon. I’ve got nothing to do or better yet, even if I’ve got something to do, I’m just too lazy to do it at all. Who would like to move in a weather such as this? It’s nice to just sit and think – and for me, just write whatever comes to mind.

I have long been wanting to publish an online journal. But due to limitations in space and time constraints, I have never published one at all. I used a notebook to write down things that I don’t normally say to people who are part of my circle. I am a very open person but there are still matters I would rather keep to myself and write in my journal.

Finally I found the perfect venue for me to express my thoughts and feelings. Why do I have to share my journal? I find satisfaction to the fact that I’m able to share my talent in writing. Writing is a passion for me – a passion known only to a few people. Needless to say, this is something that I never really had the chance to show – not because I’m too shy but because I still want to keep myself “mysterious” in one way or another.

This is the fulfillment of a dream as I journey through another phase in my life. I want my close friends to be part of it. The fact that there must be one or two things that you might find interesting or useful from my day-to-day living and being able to apply it in your own life is already something for me to be proud of.

Not only will you find interesting and otherwise thoughts from me here in this journal, but also this will be my venue to share with you anything that I found to be worth reading – like e-mails from friends, books that I found worth-reading (and otherwise), articles that I find useful and maybe a tip or two for whatever occasion. This will be your portal to my everyday living.

This would also serve as my venue for interaction with friends and other people who are able to read through my work. This is one project that I’ve long been wanting to have.

I may not be as good as the best writers that we have around but I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy my work as much as I enjoyed doing it – not only for myself but for my precious readers as well.

Today marks the publishing of my own online journal. It took me some time to decide whether to publish it or not but now here it is and I’m looking forward to better days with this project of mine.

Liz 🙂

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Wedding Anniversary

My husband and I are celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary today. I can still recall how it all happened. It’s all fresh in my mind. It was a “secret marriage” to our families. There were only 2 witnesses to the event and we celebrated our “reception” with a simple dinner at a good Italian restaurant. It was only recently that my in-laws found out about it. It still remains to be a secret to my family although there are some family members who know about it already.

It was not easy living through 3 years of marriage. October 2000, barely a month after we got married in civil rites, we separated and we never thought we would be together again. There were so many things that happened to each one of us after that. Love became anger and anger turned into hate. But time healed everything gradually though. We met again last year and it came to a point where we had to decide whether to go through the marriage again or not. I never regretted that decision to start all over again. It was all worth the tears and anger that we both went through. And look at us now, the couple will soon be a complete family with the coming of our little angel in November.

I was browsing through the internet when I came across this one from http://www.happy-anniversary.com about gifts we can give for our partners during the 3rd year of marriage.

Third year of marriage

Traditional: Leather

designer dress shoes

jackets

pants

belts

desksets

handbags

Italian accessories

wallet

Modern: Leather

luggage

briefcase

leather waste basket

Alternate Modern: Crystal / Glass

Baccarat

vases

bowls

candleholders

crystal furniture

crystal collectors rocks

sunglasses

prisms

drinking glasses

mirrors

I only had a simple greeting card for him as a gift. I’m sure he better appreciates the fact that the baby boy we’re having is far better than any gift that I can think of. He loved the card and that’s more than enough “Thank you!” for me from him. There is one poem that I’ll always bear in mind because of its meaning in my life and I dedicate it to my one and only husband.

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways

Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right:

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints,–I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! –and if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Liz 🙂

In commemoration of the 9/11 terror attacks

The whole world is commemorating the 9/11 terror attacks.

2 years ago, my father changed the channel to CNN at around 9pm when he saw the plane that crashed right through the World Trade Center. We thought it was just a movie to be shown or something to that effect. It was not. CNN was covering an actual terrorist attack on the buildings in New York. We got worried because my Mom and my sisters are living in the US. They may be on the West Coast but still it got us worried because we thought that the whole of the US might be under attack. It was really a fateful day for peace lovers and a day of rejoicing for terrorists who don’t have the respect for life.

Until now, the Americans and the other nations are grieving over the loss of more than 3,000 lives in that tragedy. But life has to go on and it is going on though with much difficulty. Until now the effects of that event never left each and every one of us. We still have to live in a world where peace reigns. There are still people who don’t believe in that and still insist that in order for the world to become a better place to live in, terror should reign in our lives. We don’t need to look further. Just look around us – politicians practicing their politicking here and there – destroying each other for the sake of coming up with a good image of them to the public, corruption, extremist groups, coup threats, and the list goes on and on. Pathetic isn’t it?

I just hope that my little angel would see a world that is far from what we have right now. We can only do that if we’re all willing to work together for a better tomorrow for our children, setting aside our cultural differences and selfish motives. How I wish it’s that easy. Unfortunately, it’s not.

Liz 🙂

The Coming Of A Blessing

My husband and I marked September 10 in our calendar. Aside from the fact that it was my pre-natal check-up with my OB and a follow-up with my pulmonologist, we scheduled my ultrasound on that day too. My OB just wanted a regular pelvic ultrasound but since I saw the benefits of a congenital anomaly ultrasound (as recommended by Cinds Choa), we preferred that despite its being quite pricey. I wanted to know how the baby is faring because I’ve been sick almost monthly

When my name was called for the ultrasound, I was overly excited and extremely nervous. At last we’ll already know the gender of our angel. My husband and I had a bet, not over the gender but as to where our baby’s head will be when the ultrasound will be performed. His bet was on the right and mine was on the left side of my tummy. I lost the bet because the baby’s head was on the right side of my tummy.

Anyway, when the ultrasound device was already being maneuvered on my tummy, we saw right away how active and “makulit” he is – as in sobrang likot!! We were both laughing because the doctor was having a hard time finding the gender of the baby. But then, I was kinda depressed because the doctor was making some comments on how small the baby’s body is as compared to having a big head, she couldn’t see the hands and legs, etc. I really couldn’t see the monitor because I was lying down and I didn’t have a good view of it. It was my hubby who had a very good view of the ultrasound monitor. I just kept quiet because it didn’t strike me as good news. Then the doctor saw the genitalia of the baby – I’m having a baby boy! The doctor took a picture of the scrotum and penis then they labeled it as “BOY.” I was elated and uttered a silent prayer in my mind thanking God for granting my wish for me to have a baby boy. Then they called the senior OB/Sonologist for checking. I was all the more elated because the doctor told me that the impressions are very good so far. He’s super likot. We saw his face. The doctor was hoping out loud that the baby would face the monitor so that she can take a picture of his face. He looked our way for a second and when he felt the device near his face, he right away looked at the other side. It was evident that he was camera shy! Hehehehe! It seemed to us that he was testing our patience because it would seem like he wanted to show his face and then he won’t do it all. His hands and legs were constantly moving. All we can say was that he’s such an active baby!!!

To sum it up, the doctor saw no fetal anomaly and he’s such an active baby boy growing in my tummy. He has very good fetal heart rate and active fetal breathing and movement. Another comment from the doctor was he’s quite big for his gestational age – he’s 3 lbs. 11 oz. Even my OB told me that he’s quite big. As per the ultrasound report, I’m already 31 weeks AOG by fetal biometry and my expected due date is November 12. But my OB told me that we’ll just follow the last ultrasound I had last May where November 27 is my due date. I know my hubby was quite disappointed because he very much wanted to have a baby girl but I know he’s also happy because the baby will be able to play with the old toys that he and his brother had. After we got the results, I texted all of our close friends and family members and informed them. We got a lot of greetings and well-wishes and it felt really good.

My husband made a comment about the doctor who first performed the ultrasound on me. He told me that the senior OB/Sonologist was better because she really knew how to take a look at the impression on the ultrasound monitor.

I also got my OGTT results that day and thank God I don’t have gestational diabetes. My UTI has also been cured. However, my OB still wants me to get a clearance from my diabetician so on the 23rd, aside from seeing my OB, I would also have to see my diabetician. My OB wants me to be in very good shape when I give birth so as not to have any complications. My pulmonologist, on the other hand, gave me some medications for my non-productive cough. The side effects of my medicines are drowsiness and some temporary heart palpitations. I don’t think the palpitations are the effect on me – I do have migraine attacks when I take Clarinase which has pseudoephedrine. But so far, I think I’m responding to the medications despite the side effects.

I can’t wait to tell my Mom that I’m having a baby boy. I can’t even wait to shop for his things. We may have some financial difficulties at this time but I know that God will always provide us with something. Very soon, I’ll have in my arms the most precious birthday gift I’ve had in my entire life. I’m just glad that God granted me my wish to have a healthy and normal baby boy. I just hope he’ll continue to be like that for the rest of the pregnancy and especially when he comes out in this world.

Liz 🙂

Oral Glucose Tolerance Test – the big day

What is gestational diabetes? Why do I have to undergo the Oral Glucose Tolerance Test? These 2 questions haunted me for the past 2 weeks because I did not have a good Oral Glucose Challenge Test result. It made me anxious and worried – things that I’m not supposed to be feeling at this stage of my life. But I have to face it. Having surfed through my favorite baby website http://www.babycenter.com, I found out a couple of things about it. Click on the link to be informed: http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/prenatalhealth/1483.html.

After reading through all the information, I prepared myself the night before by taking my last meal for the day at 7:30pm. I have to fast for 12 hours for the test to be accurate. I know that this will be a sacrifice but believe me, it was worth it or so I thought.

Today was the big day. We got to the hospital at 6:45am to beat the traffic and to be able to eat as soon as possible after the test. 7:30 came and it was time for my first blood extraction. It was painful (as always) but I had to bear with it for a minute or 2. Then the nurse gave me a solution similar to what I drank 2 weeks ago. It tasted so bad but I have to bear with the taste and I have to control myself not to vomit so I won’t repeat the test. Within 5 minutes I consumed the glucose solution much to my dismay.

By 8:30am, blood was extracted from me for the second time. The nurse got blood from my right arm this time. I was so weak seeing the sight of the big needle that pierced my skin. I just don’t have the strength for needles.

I was already starving and so was the baby inside me. I had to wait for 1 more hour to complete the test. I was praying and praying that I make it through the hour. It was one of the longest hours of my life.

My name was called and I’m happy and nervous at the same time. The nurse had to get blood from my left arm – just very near the spot where they got the first extraction. Now I felt very weak from hunger. The minute seemed like hours for me. When the extraction was done, I grabbed my things and proceeded to the nearest cafeteria with my husband. I did not pig out though. I guess I was just too weak to do so. I finished my food and that really felt very good.

We will be getting the results tomorrow. I’m still anxious and nervous about the result. I don’t want to go through the difficulty of managing gestational diabetes at this stage of my pregnancy. I don’t think I can live with it.

Liz 🙂