new haircut (again)

I woke up shortly after lunch and I dilly-dallied with time because I was feeling sooooooo sluggish. I was not even paying attention to hubby who was very busy with the computer.

Anyway, I had a late lunch with my siblings and then started watching TV. In between commercial breaks, I was exchanging text messages with my brother’s ex-girlfriend who keeps on bugging him even after they broke up. It’s not really my thing to meddle with my siblings’ personal affairs because that’s their business, but I really believed that the girl was already doing things beyond control already. What happened next? Wait for my next entry.

Papa came home from school and invited me to a trip to the parlor. I took a bath and then off we went to the parlor for my much-needed hot oil, manicure and pedicure.

It was such a relief to have clean hands and feet. I felt revitalized after the massage as well. I decided to have my hair cut shorter than it is for a newer look. Actually, it’s not really new but I still have it layered but just a little shorter than the one I was sporting for almost 3 months already. It felt good seeing a “newer-looking” MommyBa.

I wasn’t able to go to our high school batch get together. I still had some errands to do after our parlor trip and I was too tired to go to Quezon City already. I just informed Mhae that I can’t make it and I hope the group understands.

Generally, it’s a fine day except for the fact that I’m still irritated with what hubby did Friday night. He went home very drunk and he didn’t even bother to text me what the hell he was doing and where he was. He went home in a cab and I was the one who paid for his fare. I told him not to ride a cab if he can’t afford to pay it. He just slept and that’s about it. We didn’t even talk about what happened. I just have a very bad feeling about what happened and yet I couldn’t explain what.

Women’s intuition or just plain gut feel – maybe yes, maybe no. But frankly, I don’t know


I woke up before lunch yesterday and Jonathan was kind enough to cook lunch for us before he left for home. Ryan went to work early so that he could drop off Jonathan to the nearest place where he can get a ride going to Guiguinto, Bulacan. I haven’t been there but I heard that it’s quite far. I was left with Gian and Via the whole day.

I got an SMS from Mang Toto saying that he needed blood donors for himself since he’s confined at the National Kidney and Transplant Institute due to low blood and what seemed to be a lump that grew below his right ear. I’ve been a blood donor since 2001 and I wanted to go but then I was too lazy to leave the house and I didn’t have someone to go with me and drive for me after the donation. I just told him that I’ll pass the word around and I’ll try to go there either today or tomorrow.

Nothing much really happened today except that I was too lazy to move around the house. I guess it’s because I’ve been sleeping almost 24 hours after I woke up the day before, which isn’t really nice to do. I really don’t know why I’m like this when Basti’s not with me but it’s really happening.

I’m actually hearing strange noises made by my hard drive and I’m afraid that one of these days, it will just conk out on me. I’m already thinking of backing up everything that is on my computer. Hopefully, I’ll get it done within the week.

I’ve been into a lot of thinking lately about my life. I just don’t know why I’m close to 30 and yet I haven’t accomplished something that can be at par with the people I know. I’m financially broke and I have a very plain life for the past couple of years in terms of relationships. The only thing I find significant is Basti. He’s my source of strength and inspiration. He’s the only one thing that makes me smile these days.

I have to admit that I am frustrated with what’s happening with my life. I’m stuck with a husband who doesn’t know how to appreciate who I am and who keeps on insulting me right on my face. I’m stuck with siblings who don’t seem to care about what’s happening with the family. I’m stuck with parents who rely on me to get things going here at home. I have my own priorities and goals but I can’t seem to move to make them all happen.

I keep on whining and yet I’m not doing anything about it. I don’t have the guts to spill it out to the people concerned because I’ll feel guilty if I’ll be saying those things to those concerned. Hubby doesn’t know how to listen and despite the fact that I drop signals for him to change the way he treats me, he doesn’t care. I already sound like a broken record to my brothers when I tell them that they have all the opportunities in their hands and all they have to do is grab them and make them happen.

Believe it or not, I’m a very optimistic person. Most of my friends will tell me that they never perceived me to be pessimistic despite everything that I went and going through. I’m thankful that my optimistic attitude has helped me a lot in keeping my frustrations from eating the little bit of sanity that I have left. My optimism has made me believe that I’ll be able to sort things out when the right time comes. But I just wish that the right time will come soon. And I’m really wishing hard…

another 24 hours and i’m still UP

I slept until about 10 AM yesterday. Dhong woke me up because Mama called and she wanted to talk to me. Papa was out for his usual “family day” (hek hek hek!) so I was forced out of bed to talk to her. We only talked for 10 minutes although she was supposed to have 40 minutes worth of calls on that phone card given to her by my cousin (an dI wonder why it always happens).

Anyway, I just informed her that my half-sister’s father was issued a visa and he could now go anytime to visit my sister in UK. I just needed to speak with my sister so that we could already

make the arrangements. Mama still couldn’t make up her mind on whether they’re going back here for a couple of months or Papa and Ryan will be going to the US to join them. Mama’s like

that – she says one thing now and she says another tomorrow or the next day. I told her to think about what she really likes to do so that I could also decide on my trip (which was rescheduled

for February 2nd). At least I’ll know whether or not I’ll have to have another rescheduling and pay another fee for that. *grins*

The phone beeped from her end and she had 3 minutes remaining. She told me that she’ll just call back later. She wanted me to check on the available airline rates from Dallas to Manila on

the Northwest website when the line was cut.

I wanted to go back to bed but I couldn’t. It was so hard for me to decide whether or not I’ll be going with hubby to the Tondo fiesta. I had to drag my butt out of my bed to cook lunch and

prepare to leave. It wasn’t really easy for me. After all, I only had 3 1/2 hours of sleep.

We had lunch and then decided to play In Between again. I won about 100 pesos but it wasn’t as much as earlier today. At least I had another hundred in my wallet.

I took a bath and prepared to leave when Papa arrived . Well, he didn’t seem bothered when I told him that I covered up for him again. I don’t know! Maybe he didn’t have a great time with

whoever he was with the whole day.

We left the house at around 4:30. During the trip, we talked about the e-mails circulating in the net about Gretchen Baretto and Lucy Torres-Gomez. Seriously, I really don’t know whether or

not those are true. Although I have some inside stories about Ms. Baretto (of course from a very reliable family friend), I’d rather keep them to myself and keep my big mouth shut about it.

With regard to Lucy, I really don’t know what to say. Sayang naman kung me sakit nga sya.

We dropped off Dhong at the Tayuman station and then we went to Tondo for the fiesta. Hubby was invited by his classmate from the caregiving school that he went to. I just reminded him

that he shouldn’t drink much because he has work and we had to go home early because I wanted to catch “Bruce Almighty” on cable by 9PM. We got there shortly after 6pm, mainly because of the traffic. It was actually my first time to go to the Sto. Nino fiesta in Tondo and I have to admit that it scared the hell out of me. I guess it’s because there were a lot of people around and dayo kami dun. You’ll never know kung merong mangursunada sa ‘min or what. To think I don’t want my car to have a flat tire or my car’s side mirror/s stolen. I just dread it and I was too paranoid thinking about it.

The food at Bondey’s place was good. The family was very warm and friendly. The first time I met him and his wife was at their classmate’s birthday party (a couple of minutes away from their place) and this is the second time that I’m seeing them.

I smoked a couple of cigarette sticks to kill time while I listen to their stories about their OJT at Hospicio. I wasn’t commenting much and I just went along with the flow. I just realized that

despite the hard times, people will still find ways to celebrate tradition. And I’m just amazed at how the Tondo people kept that tradition after so many years. Imagine, every house has their

own celebration – overflowing with food and booze. My family was never into such practice so I was really amazed.

After about an hour, more of their classmates came in and that started the ball rolling further. Beer started to flow and the stories just went on and on. The hot seat was given to Bang and

her alleged lover/BF, Ryan (I have yet to meet this guy). Bang was well-groomed and she lost a lot of weight, and that started all the teasing. Well, apparently Bang has been separated from

her husband for about 4 years already after she decided that his wife-beating days were over.

As usual, I was just going with the flow, laughing when there’s a need too but still I was anxious

about the time and I wasn’t really comfortable with the group.

Then they set their eyes on hubby – Bang actually said and I quote:”Gusto mo sabihin natin sa asawa mo yung sa ‘yo?” And then hubby said:”Ano’ng sasabihin mo? Wala naman eh!”

I was just smiling back at them but I have an idea about what they’re saying. I just didn’t comment but I told myself that I’ll be dealing with it later.

I got an SMS from Ryan telling me that Jonathan’s at home. It’s his birthday and as promised, he came over and wanted to celebrate his birthday with us. I told hubby about it and he told me that we’ll be going home in a couple of minutes.

What seemed to be a couple of minutes turned into another 2 hours. I was already getting impatient but still I kept my composure. We were supposed to leave by 8:30 and it was already past 11 when we left the place.

When we got home shortly before midnight, they were already drinking and playing a card game. They played tong-its ’til about 2am and then hubby decided to sleep for an hour or 2 before he goes to work. Jonathan, Ryan, Gian, Via and I just had a round of chit-chatting about my sister who left our house before Christmas last year. We chatted until about 4:30 and then off I sat in front of my loving PC and here I am blogging my heart out.

Hubby left for work and Papa’s preparing to leave for the office. It’s the start of a brand new week and I’m just about to go to dreamland.

Great (?) day

Slept late so I woke up late. Hubby took care of Basti while I slept through half of the day. It was so hard for me to untangle myself from my pillows and comforter. I was really soooooooooooooo sleepy!!!!

Finally, after 100 years, I got up, had brunch and then lulled my son to sleep for his after lunch nap. He was so sleepy too that he just slumped on my lap and then dozed off.

Basti usually takes a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon so while he was sleeping, I fixed his things and prepared his clothes for his mini-vacation to his grannies’ place. As much as I didn’t want him to stay there that long, I just had to give in to the wishes of my in-laws.

I took a bath after preparing everything that he needed for his trip and just in time after I did that, he woke up.

We brought my son to my in-laws and stayed there for a couple of hours. He was driving everyone crazy with his kakulitan and kalikutan. He devoured 2 bananas in one sitting and ate pancit bihon afterwards. He was just all over their house yesterday. Oh well, it was hard for me when it was already time for us to go. I really didn’t want to leave him there but of course, I don’t want to be selfish either. It’s only then that I realized that things are different when there’s a child at home. No matter how hard it is to take care of one, a child will always take away the tired feeling after a long week of working – I’m sure this is how my in-laws feel.

Papa had a get-together with his ECJ and Northern Cement friends at Saisaki West Avenue. On our way home, I called him up and told him that hubby and I are having coffee at Starbucks just beside Saisaki. He told me that he’ll just meet us there so off we went and had coffee.

Of course, since Papa wasn’t with us, we took a place outside of the store to get my dose of nicotine and caffeine. Hubby and I were talking about the law students making tambay at Starbucks and reading all that they can with their highlighters in their hands when I saw a familiar face just beside us. She was one of my schoolmates from the lower batch in high school. I really didn’t have the guts to say “Hi!” to her but our eyes met and just acknowledged each others’ presence. I wanted to ask how she was but I guess the timing wasn’t really right. Incidentally, she is one of those just waiting for the results of the bar examinations come March or April. Hopefully, she’ll make it. 🙂

Papa came out of Saisaki almost an hour after we got there. I approached him and greeted Atty. Brillantes and Tito Sonny. The last time they saw me, I was still in high school. Well, they couldn’t help but ask me why I grew so big. Eh ano naman ang isasagot ko diba? Hehehe! I’m used to those questions and all I give them as an answer is a hearty laugh. Atty. Brillantes is a familiar face on TV – he’s the counsel of the late FPJ. You’ll never miss him because he has this all-white hair and despite the years, he still looks robust and strong. He never remarried after his wife died in an accident. But I was told that he has a very young girlfriend. Heheheh! Anyway, he has been quipped for making a not-so-intelligent statement after FPJ died. But nevertheless, he’s one of the more brilliant lawyers I know and what’s more, he’s a close friend of Papa’s.

We decided to stay longer in Starbucks to rest. I had another round of coffee and that made me bring home another Starbucks 2005 planner. I plan to give it to Via when we get home. Papa told me that I’ll be the one to drive going home so that will leave hubby alone in my car.

While we were discussing whether we’re already going home or not, I saw another familiar face enter the store. I told hubby about it but then I was afraid that I might have mistaken her for somebody else. I grabbed my phone and texted my friend to ask if she was at that particular Starbucks branch. While waiting for her reply, I tried to finish my coffee because Papa already wanted to go home. Papa then left to walk to Saisaki and asked for his car which was valet parked.

My friend replied and told me that she was indeed there with her family and asked where I was. I just told her that I’m outside just waiting for the car. She went out and then we said our hush-hush “Hellos” to each other. By the way, this friend of mine is my ex’s cousin.

On the way home, I still couldn’t believe that I’ll be seeing my ex’s cousin in a hush-hush manner. We’ve been planning to meet up for coffee but our schedules just never meet. You may be wondering why after all these years, we’re still in touch. My ex may have hurt me but his cousin didn’t. In fact, she was sympathetic and I know that she’s sincere. I don’t give up friendships just because of a bleak past. Besides, she’s a very good person. We rarely talk but when we do, it’s no crap at all.

When we got home I sent her an SMS saying how happy I was to see her after all these years. Too bad that we had to rush home already when we saw each other. She replied and said that we’ll just meet up at another time to catch up with each other.

Hubby slept early and I waited for Dhong. I picked him up at around 11 near SM Bicutan and then we bought a case of San Mig Light and drank ’til the wee hours of the morning with Gian and Via. I learned a new card game called In Between. I don’t normally gamble but last night was an exception. I shelled out 50 pesos for the game. Papiso-piso lang naman ang bet. Unfortunately, I lost because I was too brave to bet all most of the time. Hehehe!

The tables turned when I shelled out 100 and after 2 hours of playing, I won a total of 366 pesos. I was very happy because that 100 was my last money. Beginner’s luck? I really don’t know. But I don’t intend to do it regularly.

We drank Franzia red wine at 5AM and then walked down Doña Soledad Avenue to look for cigarettes. It was a great walk but it was cold.

It’s 6:30 AM and I have to sleep now. All I can say is, what a day!

Normal day

As usual, it was a normal day for me. Nothing much to do except to take care of my little boy while he roams around the house like there’s no tomorrow. I have to admit that his naughtiness almost always brings me to the brink of losing my patience but of course, when he does smile back at me, hugs me or kisses me with all that saliva from his mouth, it just makes my day.

My heart melted for the nth time when Basti pointed at the pile of his Daddy’s dirty clothes and said: “Papa, Papa, Papa!!!” I was holding my Papa’s new cellphone when Basti pointed at it and said again: “Papa, Papa, Papa!!!” over and over again. Okay, so this little boy already knows to whom things belong here at home. I’m so proud of him 😀

Hubby made a phone call to his mother then he told me that my MIL wants us to bring our son over to their today for the weekend. *Sighs* because my weekend will be dull and quiet. Well, they miss the kid and to think Basti’s been away from them for just a week. I won’t be screaming for the rest of the weekend when I see my son almost breaking the figurines on the bedside tables or when he reaches for the remote control and says “‘Lo!” because he thinks it’s the telephone. Although the “space” will give me time to upload all my updates to my blog and catch up on the e-mails that have been sitting in my inbox for the past month or so, still, a day without Basti here at home wouldn’t be so much fun after all.

By the way, here’s a photo of Basti just a couple of minutes after he woke up yesterday 🙂

Awwwwww moment

There are still piles of photos that I need to arrange in an album. At random times today, I tried to finish the task but then again, as always, Basti would make sure that I don’t. I guess he didn’t like the attention that I was giving the pictures I’ve been keeping in a box for soooooooooooo long. Anyway, while Via and I were chatting, Basti was “browsing” some of the pictures that I had from my last trip to Baguio almost 3 years ago. He got one picture of me with 2 other friends then he said: “Mama, Mama!!!” while pointing at my face on the photo. Via then asked Basti: “Okay, where’s Mommy in the picture?” You know what Basti did?? He kissed the portion of the picture where my face was. It was really an “awwwwwwwww” moment for me that made my knees wobble. Via had her share too. He did that about 3 more times and then returned the picture in the pile of other photos, blabbered a bit (well, not really a bit! hehehehe!) and then played with his toy plane.

It was really something that made my heart melt today. He may be so makulit but he’s definitely one loving kid 😀 Here’s another one of his “nguso” poses. 🙂 Just don’t mind the clutter you see in the background. And that’s Papa behind him 🙂

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another day passed

I tried finishing my laundry today but still I wasn’t able to do so. Had a mini-fight with hubby because of some flimsy matter. It really irritates me when he does his pag-iinarte. He wanted to borrow my car because he had to get some clothes in Pasay but then, Ryan already told me that he’ll be borrowing the car because he had to go somewhere. So I told hubby to just hitch a ride with my brother – anyway, he’ll just be getting clothes and it won’t take that long. Ryan will be able to accommodate and accompany him wherever he’ll be going.

As usual, hubby changed his mind and told me that I should’ve told him earlier that he cannot use the car. I just told him that if he doesn’t want to then no problem with me. He slept without us talking again about what happened. I, in turn, just made myself busy with lulling my son to sleep.

I still can’t get over the fact that hubby hit Basti last night. And now, he’s giving me another dose of his pag-iinarte.” Now who wouldn’t get pissed?

But then again, I just have to keep my mouth shut because I don’t wanna say something that I might regret in the future. This strategy of mine – keeping quiet after like a round or two of arguments – works wonders for me. It gives me the time to regain my composure, gives me time to think and gives me time to psyche myself that this is just a test and a phase that we’re going through.