On Death

What do we say to someone who just lost a loved one?

I remember watching a Sex and the City episode where Miranda’s mom died. Apparently, Samantha didn’t know what to say at that particular moment.

I felt the same way as Samantha did after learning that the sister of one of my dearest friends died yesterday. I was kinda lost as to what I should say. Should I even say anything to begin with?

Just the same, I sent him an SMS just to let him know that I already know and that I’ll just be here for him. I so wanted to hold his hand and hug him. I said a little prayer and expected that there will be no reply to my SMS. I understand.

Death is something we will all tackle someday soon. I just realized that no matter how much you prepare for it, it is still something that catches us off guard. And when that happens, all we can do is cry and grieve.

A thought on weddings

I was looking at the magazines containing the photos of celebrity newly-weds Judy Ann Santos and Ryan Agoncillo. I actually have three of those magazines right here on my bed. I will not deny the fact that somehow I love looking at these glossy magazines for some cool stuff like the beautiful dresses of the bride and that sort of a tuxedo worn by the groom and other interesting photos.

A friend of mine is getting married next year and she has already approached me and asked if I could be one of her principal sponsors. I have to admit that I had this notion of principal sponsors being more mature in appearance. But since this person is very dear to me, I said “Yes.”

A year from now, I’ll be walking down the aisle, not as a bride but as one of the bride’s principal sponsors. It kinda gives me the creeps and I guess tradition is now changing with more brides and grooms getting younger sponsors for their entourage. After conceding to the fact that I’m already out of the calendar, I decided to welcome this new journey with open arms. I’ll be paired with another colleague of mine, a boss of mine to be exact whose about less than 2 months younger than I am.

Now, I think this is going to be fun, don’t you think?

Friday Fill Ins

1. It’s cold and comfy here in my room.

2. I eat tomatoes.

3. My favorite health and beauty product is Vitamin E and C.

4. I enjoy a nice long ride.

5. Well, first of all I’m bored.

6. Unknown people; those were the cast of characters in a recent dream and it was forgettable because I can’t remember what the dream was about.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to just chill, tomorrow my plans include seeing my doctor and Sunday, I want to get more rest as I go back to work the day after!

Collect then select

When I was younger, I spent most of my money buying shoes. Yeah, I was a shoes person. Except for those stilettos that I can’t use because of my failed sense of balance, I practically used to own at least one of any of those women’s shoes available in the market. I was an Imelda Marcos protege.

So how come I stopped being the next Imelda? I was left with 3 pairs of shoes when I came back from Canada. For some strange reason, my shoe collection vanished without a trace and despite the fact that I don’t have anyone in the household with the same shoe size as mine (I’ve big feet). I had my suspects then and these people probably sold my shoes (which were mostly worn only once then tucked back into its box). I cried buckets after I failed to see the pairs that I either bought from travels abroad, or were gifts from parents, or were purchased with my own school allowance. Papa dissuaded me from reporting to authorities. Looking back, I guess it was really weird to complain about missing pairs of shoes. After that, I swore never to buy more than what I can wear.

Years after that incident, I still buy branded shoes that can withstand the wear and tear of my feet. However, I am now more careful and more discerning in buying my footwear. I make sure that I buy classic designs that I can mix and match with my wardrobe and I can use for any occasion. So far I’ve been successful and I have been more vigilant in checking out my shoe cabinet for any missing pairs.

I prefer it this way now and I’m more at peace knowing that I can account for every pair that I own. A collection is good to look at but once it’s gone, it’s really gone.

Thursday Thirteen – Week 21 (2009)

This has been a long delayed thing for me to do. I should’ve watched this when I was younger. Back then, I was never fond of watching series, moreso, following them. But now that I’m older and after my meeting with FRIENDS, I started exploring this aspect of my youth that I missed.

I can relate to Ally. I don’t hallucinate but I have thoughts that were and are still similar to hers. I easily fall and I fall very hard – in love. I’m a romantic. I’ve my weak points inside my strong facade.

Since I have been watching the whole Ally McBeal series for the past couple of weeks now, I thought it best to write my thoughts about this current interest. There are still so many things I can write on and on about it but here’s what I have for the moment. I’ll be more than glad to hear out what you think.

01. I just wished I was able to watch this series when it was all new and fresh. Probably I could’ve learned a thing or two in dealing with the love aspect of my life. These series about love and relationships? I think this is my way to catharsis, which I am really thankful for nowadays.

02. One thing that got me drawn to this series was that I see a lot of myself in Ally – how she can get too involved in a relationship and how hurt she can be. I can relate to a lot of her life’s experiences making me believe that probably I’ll end up like Ally when I become a lawyer.

03. I love how the characters are depicted – crazy, dysfunctional for some, but they have the most brilliant minds I’ve seen on TV. Which makes me wonder whether crazy goes with brilliance. Does it? Or it’s just me?

04. The episode where Billy died made me cry buckets. The last moment of his life was seen in the court room where he professed his “forever” love for Ally until that fateful minute. Billy was Ally’s childhood love – the first guy whose butt she first sniffed (and vice-versa) and I guess there are just these types of relationships that don’t end up being together forever. It’s a sad reality that probably most of us have seen. But this is a gentle reminder that we should always tell the people that we care for how much we love them. It may not be to an ex-lover/partner, but to someone we really care for the most. Let’s not wait for that fateful day before we say it.

05. For me, John Cage is irresistible. I love his brilliant mind. His quirks make me laugh and it sets him apart from the rest. I love how Barry White influences him to be at his best. Remember those episodes where they would dance? Oh that’s just hilarious and very memorable. I would smile every time his nose would whistle or he’s going to walk barefoot for the first draft of his closing. Probably I’m also drawn to quirky people like him.

06. The music of Ally McBeal. I am a sucker for lovely music and this series just got me smitten partly because of the songs they have for every episode. I appreciated Vonda’s renditions of the songs they used. Lovely! Lovely! Even Papa loved the music. The original songs are wonderful too! From Barry White to Barry Manilow, Gloria Gaynor, Josh Groban, the standards and classics – I’m going to get the albums they released for the whole series. I don’t care where I get them but I will 🙂

07. Back to Billy and Ally. Remember how he donned that “New Man In Town” look? It reminded me of how we all want to be new after something bad happens to us like a bad breakup or separation. I felt that way after the separation. It was tough starting again (complete with all the financial burdens it entailed to bring back with me to the family home) but it did make me feel good getting my very straight hair curled, losing some weight, having a bit of a social life back. Those little things actually made me feel that there’s a new me after the storm.

08. If there’s one fact reiterated in this series, it’s the fact that relationships with co-workers don’t work (well, at least most of the time they don’t). I have always believed that I shouldn’t do whatever in my own backyard (although I prefer to call the whatever as “sh*t” LOL!). I’m not closing my doors on the possibility that the next someone might be just a station away from me in my work place, but I would prefer someone away from the “limelight.”

09. I saw a different Lucy Liu in this series. She’s a good actress. I like her now.

10. I now know who Ellen De Generes’ partner is – Portia de Rossi – the gorgeous lady whose locks I so adore! Feisty and icy character – kinda hot if you’ll ask me.

11. Lawyers really have good taste in clothing. That’s just not true in the series but also here. I still have to meet a lawyer who doesn’t know how to dress to the nines.

12. I realized that everything and every one in the US can be sued. The practice of law in the state of Massachusetts is interesting and I’m learning a lot along the way. I’m sure the writers of the series were briefed and they researched a lot as to how everything’s done in the actual court houses. This series made me want to pursue law now more than ever. I just need to find the time.

13. Robert Downey, Jr.’s character reminded me of someone – that someone who got away because I also got away. Aside from Billy, Larry must have been truly the one for Ally if not for Downey’s drug addiction in real life. What they had was very special. Again, another cathartic moment for me.

After this, I will be getting my boxed set – not the bootleg one that I have right now. I know this is worth keeping for my collection.

Friday Fill Ins

1. Moving on after my separation.

2. Finally free.

3. My best quality is my ability to smile despite problems.

4. I’m more into details.

5. In nearly 10 years, I still have yet to say that I am successful.

6. To have more than enough money to pay for bills and other stuff is what I need right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to rest, tomorrow my plans include going to work and Sunday, I want to as usual, sleep in!

Travelogue Busted

I don’t know how many of you have subscriptions to Reader’s Digest. It’s one subscription that we keep because all of us here in the household are able to read it and Papa has been a reader even before I was born.

Papa gets all of these invitations to join the Reader’s Digest-sponsored multi-million peso sweepstakes. The only catch to these sweepstakes opportunities is the purchase requirement. We do give in to some of their offers but most of the time, we decline and just send in the “NO” business reply envelopes. I know it’s a shot to the moon when we send in those but there’s this teeny tiny hope that maybe we could win money and some stuff.

The latest offer we had was a 3-piece DVD set about ancient history and other historical places here on earth. It was something that we could use here at home but after several minutes of debating, we decided to turn down the offer. There’s a feature about one of the newest wonders of the world and it would have been an opportunity to go through a Machu Picchu travel back in time if we did buy the DVD set. However, it was just really pricey and at this point that we are cutting down on unnecessary expenses, we had to let it go.

Maybe next time. And I’m sure there will be more offers to come.

Takbong Pangarap Update

The Takbong Pangarap 100-day run has finally kicked off last May 11th in Los Angeles, USA. I am totally excited and so looking forward to the updates.

I pray that Ms. Joy and the rest of the Takbong Pangarap team will hurdle all the challenges and the run safely and smoothly. I am now following the team through Twitter and Plurk. The team is also on Facebook.

Filipinos unite. Let’s all support Ms. Joy Rojas and the Takbong Pangarap team.

Hot Day

I feel better after a couple of days of being on the bed due to my migraine attack. I haven’t had one for about a year or so already. I couldn’t really get past the feeling I had last Wednesday – I was helpless and my head was hurting so bad. My meds have been a big help in calming me down and making me sleep through the pain. But of course, since Thursday, I was just practically in bed and asleep most of the times.

In between sleeping, eating, bathing and my meds, I was able to write drafts. But I couldn’t finish them. I was even able to finish some layouts for a baby shower present that a friend asked me to do. At least, I accomplished something instead of wallowing in the fact that I’m now unpaid despite being sick.

I braved the streets of Manila today to pick up the album and my prints despite the extremely hot and humid weather. For the first time in months, I pulled my curly hair up in a bun and I couldn’t even lift a finger to get my face done. Although I was pretty sure my makeup wouldn’t melt on my face, it was just too hot to go out with a made up face. This isn’t just the time for it. To PAGASA, thank you for being soooo accurate in predicting the weather at this time of the month (pun and sarcasm intended).

It was my first time in years to visit St. Francis Square. I bought a couple of items Papa requested me to purchase. There was road volume but it was manageable. I met up with Athan at Megamall and kept my promise to deliver to him the baby shower present he asked me to do. I’m keeping my fingers crossed about how the recipients liked it. For reasons of privacy, I will not be able to share it here nor on my scrap blog.

Today also happened to be a pig out day for me. This is the problem when I binge – I eat a lot during weekends. I am also stressed from thinking about family and money problems – probably these are some of the causes of my binging and my sort of recluse from my world. Probably, even natural appetite suppressants won’t help stop my binging when I’m in this state of mind. These are but some of the things I need to address after dealing with high blood sugar and migraine the past couple of days. As to why I had a migraine attack, I guess it really had something to do with the stress I’m experiencing.

I admit that I’m not good in handling stress. Work is affected, my train of thought gets derailed, I am not focused. For a minute, I welcomed the migraine attack – the meds helped me calm down, it helps me to sleep through whatever I’m having right now. The peace I derive out of sleeping is something I’m thankful for.

And as for the very hot and humid day I experienced today, it added to the stress. However, having been able to talk to a friend, even just for a couple of minutes, helped. Thank you, Athan, for being there. And I hope you enjoyed the baby shower and the Embassy night out.