Everything was simple…
Meet up, dinner at a Thai place, coffee at a doughnut shop, a couple of fags to go with the coffee, went to a place that I haven’t been to for the longest time and enjoyed talking with you ’til the early hours of the morning…
How I wish I could just stop time for us…but that would be selfish…I would not want to take you away from the world you have already known.
Words are not enough to explain the happiness I’m feeling every time I am with you.
There are no words…just feelings…feelings that only the heart will be able to understand.
For all the wonderful things that have been happening…
For all the beautiful moments we have been sharing together…
The misunderstandings, the differences in views…
The music that we share together…
All of these things I can only rave about
Not just in my head but with the people closest to my heart…
You have never seized to amaze me as to what you can do to traumatize me over and over again. But somehow, I knew, I would go through it with a breeze.
Over dinner and coffee, I have come to realize how lucky I am to have met someone like him. He has never failed to assure me that no matter what happens, he will always be by my side. It was something I never saw in you and felt with you. You were never there for me. It’s just crazy that the realization has come in very late and all I can do is forgive myself for not doing so earlier on.
Over dinner and coffee, I felt loved and cared for. More over, I felt safe and secured.
And I can only be grateful for feeling that way with him.
I’ve gone past that stage where all I could see and feel was anger and hatred in myself. I was angry and I hated myself for having gone through all the pain I went through with you.
But as the days went by, things turned around. I’ve learned to forgive and forget the hatred and anger I had towards myself and the people who have hurt me and I have hurt in the process.
I am sharing this prayer to anyone who might still be angry towards something or someone.
“Lord, my heart is full of anger for someone who have wronged me. Someone who deliberately hurt my ego and my feelings. I feel that I have moved on already but every morning when I wake up and think about that person my heart rages and burns with hatred. I want to seek revenge for all the pain that this person has caused me.
Lord , I pray for your love and forgiveness. Please take away this bitterness in my heart. This feeling is leaving a burning mark on my life and the lives of the people around me. Innocent people suffer because of this lingering feeling of betrayal and revenge in my heart. I don’t want to be a slave to this oh Lord.
Lord, please fill my raging emotions with your peace, comfort my weary heart with your loving embrace, and take away all the feeling of resentment and hatred in my heart. Let forgiveness be my revenge forgiveness, Let your suffering on the cross remind me of why I should sacrifice, not for the hurt others have inflicted upon me but for the suffering that you endured to save me.
Lord, let there be no room for vengeance and hatred in my heart. Fill me with your spirit I may show forgiveness when I’m hurt and love when I am betrayed and compassion when I am tempted to rise up against others.
Thank you Lord for the peace that I have found only in your presence.
In Jesus name we pray, Amen.”
After all that’s been said and done, you still feel that everything’s just okay? That we can continue with what we had before? How stupid can one be? Haven’t you felt any remorse for all that happened? Are you really that insensitive?
Why? Why do you want to subject me to such indiscretion again?
I will not allow you to do that to me once again. Not this time. Not anymore.
You are a man of few words and those words you said were just so powerful that it hurts me so much to feel how disappointed and hurt you are about everything that happened. But don’t worry, just like before, I will prove to you that I will bounce back from all the mistakes that I made.
Thank you for never leaving my side despite the hurt and pain I’ve caused you.
I love you and I’m sorry, Papa.
As I decided to pass by my favorite church, I had a lot of things going on in my mind. I prayed harder than I did during the time that I was alone and in a battle that I voluntarily willed to lose.
I asked for signs and yes, He gave it to me, unexpectedly.
I’m all scarred and hurt. But I’m taking the risk.
Thank you for the love. Thank you for coming into my life.
It’s all so surreal but I’m happy.
And now, a new chapter in my life begins.