The Journey That Was 2013

It was a tumultuous end to something that should have ended a long time ago.  Jobless, broke, emotionally wrecked, and mentally hurt, I veered away from family and friends.  I opted to be alone and drowned myself in sorrow for something that I’m fully responsible for.  I wasn’t hurting because it ended.  I was wrecked because I allowed myself to be that.  I had the choice not to.  I lost myself once again in that process.  But as always, I picked up the pieces of my broken self in solitude.  Then my friends and family came to my rescue.  I wasn’t expecting it after disregarding them.  But there they were.  They helped me through it all.  I could only be grateful.  I have the best set of friends and family in the world no matter how twisted they could be sometimes.  I bounced back from a very bad decision.  I started all over again.

An unexpected turn of events led me to meet this person who made me see the silver lining to all the bad things that happened to me before.  It was a serendipitous moment for me.  Something that happened at the right place and time.  Something I will never regret.  Something that I will always look back with a huge smile on my face.

My family was so excited to have finally met you.  For the first time in years, I have never seen that kind of acceptance towards the previous and relevant men in my life.  I know that they loved you the first time they saw you and got to talk to you, especially my Dad.  That made me really very happy.  

My father celebrated his 80th birthday.  Nowadays, who would reach that age with the kind of lifestyle that most people have?

I started on a new job that challenged my skills and capabilities.  I would like to believe that I gave it my all.  I gave it my best shot.  I made new friends.  But I guess, you can’t please everyone.  Somehow, somewhere while you’re doing your job, there will always be people who will pull you down instead of helping out.  I learned even more and discovered my resiliency.  There are just people in this world who will be out to destroy you no matter how good you are doing.  With that, I learned about self-preservation and self-respect.

In between his out of town trips and our arguments, I realized how patient I could be.  How humbling these experiences were for me.  How loving one person can make a great difference in your life.  And how much you are willing to take just to show how much love you have for each other.  Loving someone is bitter sweet.  But it’s all worth it.  And I will never get tired of saying that you are worth it.

My 38th birthday was made special by your presence and that of my family and friends.  I would have to say that it was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.

My Sweetheart turned 10 and I am still overwhelmed and in awe that 10 years went by just like that.  My miracle baby is a young man now.  I can only wish and pray that he will be the man that I envision him to be.  That he will never forget the things I’ve been telling him and learn the lessons presented to him as early as now.  In my eyes, he will always be my little man.  Even if he’s all grown up!

The last of my grandmother’s generation passed unexpectedly shortly before Christmas.  At 99, I guess the Lord has already figured that her time’s up.  It was more like a reason to celebrate as she is already in God’s loving arms.  Her death has opened my eyes to the fact that I’m getting older and so are the rest of my family.  Sometimes, though we fear it, we have to be prepared for death.  We will eventually get there in God’s own perfect time.

As I have refrained from drawing up resolutions that just get stuck as plans on paper, I will just continue doing what is best so I could be a much better person in the years to come.  Resolutions never worked for me.  So I’ll prefer to keep it that way.  My bucket list is still there for me to complete and I hope that I will be able to tick off more from that list this year than in the previous years.

I will never forget all the goodness, kindness, love and care that the best people in my life have shown me this year and all the past years.

And as I write the last couple of sentences of this post, I still can’t believe that another twelve months passed by just like that.  It has been a very good year for me despite the ups and downs my family and I encountered collectively and individually.  Personally, and although I am closing the year with uncertainty on some aspects in my life, I am glad that all of these things happened.  I will always be grateful to the gift of people and things that were given to me this year.  And I just want him to know that he is, by far, the best gift I received this year.

Just like what a good friend has been telling me, there is always a reason to celebrate.  Be thankful and celebrate the reasons that you have.

As I travel the roads of the city tonight, I am thankful for whatever these reasons to look forward to in the coming year.

Happy New Year everyone! Be safe!

The Reaction

I wasn’t expecting that kind of a reaction from you.

How I wish you could take that reaction back so I wouldn’t have to think about it.

One should not expect people to be perfect.  At some point in time, the people you love can say things that will hurt you, do things that will disappoint you.  And yet, at the end of the day, you forgive them because the love that you have for them overpowers their imperfections.  Their imperfections made and make you love them even more.  Those imperfections perfect their being.

But then again, it’s been done.  It has been accepted.  And this will soon pass.  You are worth more than the disappointing reaction you sent out to me.  You are worth loving.

 

 

(Im)Patience

I have grown so used to waiting for you that one-and-a-half hours seemed like half an hour.

And yes, that’s me sarcastically speaking.

After making me wait for that long a time, you still had the guts to actually tell me that I did have a choice not to wait.  How insensitive can that be of you?

Still, I couldn’t get fully mad at you.  I guess I’m just that patient enough to wait.

Because no matter how hard it is to wait, I know that you are worth the wait.

I just wish I can feel how much you appreciate that of me.

 

It’s Christmas!

We spent most of Christmas Day at the wake of my grandmother.  Food was overflowing and a lot of positive and good stuff were talked about during that time.  We weren’t really mourning.  We were celebrating!

I appreciate it that you went out of your way to come and be with us on this special day.  My family is grateful and they are so fond of you.

From our family, a very Merry Christmas to everyone!  Let’s all remember the real reason for the season and just take all of the material stuff that comes with Christmas as a perk.

Again, Merry Christmas!

The Impromptu Reunion

It is ironic that we had to have an impromptu reunion where our grandmother’s remains lie in state.  But it’s always nice to be reunited with family you only see occasionally.

I’m pretty sure Lola Elo and the rest of our angels up there were happy about this.

She’s Gone

I grew up knowing only two grandmothers in my life: my Mom’s mother, Lola Pelagia, and my Dad’s only aunt, Lola Elo.  Lola Pelagia passed away in 1989/1990.

This morning, we received the shocking news that Lola Elo already peacefully joined Our Creator.  She was 99.

We’re all really sad that she had to go just a couple of days before Christmas. But we know that she’s already very happy up there in heaven with all the other angels from the family watching over us.  Thank you for all the great memories with you as we were all growing up. Those will all be treasured and remembered.

Rest in peace, Lola Elo.  I’m happy that you are going to celebrate Christmas up there with Him, your sister and the rest of the family who are already in Christ’s loving arms.  We will miss you!

The Sisters: Lola Julia and Lola Elo

The Sisters: Lola Julia and Lola Elo

My Eye Candy

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In between Christmas rush traffic and mall hopping for some last minute Christmas shopping, I saw this photo of you that caught my attention.

That elusive smile coupled with that very cute shirt is just awesome to see, captured via this photo.

My eye candy for the day…you made me fall in love all over again with you.