PMS

PMS’ing last weekend did give us a little bit of a breather from each other.  Maybe we needed it.  Maybe we didn’t.  But just the same, today found us together again, talking, after a minor spat.

And I just realized how much I missed you during the weekend.  Know that I never hated the things that happened.  We were just feeling so bad during that day.

They say love means never having to say you’re sorry.  Nevertheless, I’m sorry.

PMS may also mean ILY.

And yes, I love you!

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Random, But Maybe It’s Also An Apt Thought

I wrote this on February 5th while alone in my sanctuary.  It was a random thought that I just had to write.  A friend has quoted me on this because it was a spot on hit.  I am not really sure if it’s an apt thought to cap the week that was.  Yes, I am hurt.  But that the hurt won’t stop me from still being grateful and blessed to have you in my life.

There are moments in life when we just don’t know where we’re at regardless of knowing what and who we really want in our lives. Circumstances will not always be in our favor simply because what we always need and want, we cannot always get.  It’s a fact of life and all we need to do is accept it.  Maybe it’s part of His grand plan for us.  Or maybe something better is in store for us in His own grand time.  Either way, we can only be brave and grateful for taking that shot at being happy.

It pays to know that what we want and need remind us of how beautiful life is.  We’re given the opportunity to see and have them in our hands and enjoy the moments with them while they last.  The fact that we know we could gain happiness from them is what makes them all worth it.  It is an irony of life that we refuse to accept because it hurts to know that what makes us happy are also the things and people that make us cry.

What Happened?

I wouldn’t want to call it a “respite” from the beautiful days I’ve had.  Truth and in fact, it is.  And what happened today really made me cry buckets over something that wrenched my heart.

Today, I will allow all the negativity to flow.  It’s not my habit to do such but in order for me to restore my sense of self-balance, I will do just that.  If only for me to feel and make myself realize that life isn’t all about being happy every single day but to also find that sadness can also make me feel such.  Ironic but true, at least for me.

I don’t understand why things screwed up.  For me, it was just a simple question that required a simple answer.

Please make me understand why you find it so easy to blow your top on me over simple things.  For you to tell me that I always like making myself look like the underdog is just not right.  Why am I always on the bad side of an argument when all I did was to ask a question?  Is it really that bad for me to ask questions?

Your words, they just crushed me.  It seemed that I never did anything right.  Sadly, that was how you made me feel.

Yet, no matter how much you’ve hurt me, I can’t find it in my heart to be mad at you, more so, hate you for doing so.

 

Disclaimer: This Is Not About Me

There may be a million and one reasons for people to cheat.  I understand and I would like to think it’s justifiable in some ways because as humans, there are times when we just fall into that temptation no matter how great life is for one.  Sometimes, it leads to a better life just like what I’ve seen in my own circle.  Maybe things worked out that way because it was meant to be.  I wouldn’t want to even justify and give credence to that.  But more often than not, it destroys the way we think about relationships and crushes hearts to the point that we can’t find it in ourselves to trust other people even our own selves anymore.

The choices that we make will eventually make or break us.  Most people wouldn’t give up that easily because of the love they hold and have for you.  But once the breaking point is reached, there’s nowhere else to go but out.  This happens so one can save one’s self from self-destruction because there are other people involved.  It’s what they call self-preservation, no matter how late it comes in.  How I wish you could see now how your decision to cheat and even justify it breaks the hearts of those who love you.  Sadly, when cheating becomes your choice, it not only breaks the trust and love that was given to you. It changes the way people think about you, and it makes your family fall apart.

Our life becomes a vicious cycle of deceit and lies after that.  Would you really like that to go on?  I don’t know what you were thinking but definitely, you were out of your mind for doing such a thing despite repeated calls not to fall prey into such a trap.

Think about it.  There’s still time.

Our 11th

I can barely remember the last time I received flowers on a season like this. In fact, Valentine’s has always been a pet peeve of mine until you changed that tonight.

I know you thought that I was throwing all those hints for you to give me something for Valentine’s.  Seriously, I wasn’t and didn’t think of it that way.  I was just reminded last night of how cheesy and sappy February 14th is as I don’t normally go out and “celebrate.”  No matter how everyone thinks that I may just be bitter, this isn’t just my cup of tea to begin with.

Surprised and awed, seriously, I never really expected to be given these. There’s a card attached to those but of course, it’s for my eyes only.ü Today’s already special as it is for us because we’re into our eleventh month but getting these truly made it better.

Honey, Happy Valentine’s and I’m truly grateful and blessed for the gift of you!  Thank you for loving me every single day.

I love you!

A Different Valentine’s Day

2014-02-13 23.57.24

For the people who know me, Valentine’s Day has already been scrapped from my calendar for the longest time. During this time, I’m either at the office working, at home chillin’ or just plain missing.

8 minutes going into this day anticipated by most overly-romantic people around the globe, I got this message that made my heart stop for a few seconds and then made me burst into tears, literally.  It felt so surreal.  I never expected to feel all sappy and extremely emotional upon receiving such a message.

And why do I have to share this to the whole world?  Only because you made me feel very special in your life through this.

Happy Valentine’s Day!