A Random Whisper

I love you…

You don’t need to answer back. You don’t need to tell me that you do or do not.

I am telling you because I want you to know. And I don’t want to regret not having told you.

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To The One Who Broke Tradition

Thank you for greeting me on Valentine’s Day. It was unexpected – especially coming from you. It was the one SMS that boldly broke my personal tradition of treating it as just an ordinary day. Family and friends know that I hate the day. I have to say that I shrugged it off after greeting you back. I have a normal day to deal with.

Lying on my bed, analyzing what happened to my day before finally calling it as done and over with, memories of our only legitimately Happy Valentine’s Day crossed my mind. Those bunch of red roses and music albums that made my heart skip a beat and made me smile the whole time – they’re all still fresh as if it happened only yesterday. I can’t believe that it’s been 4 Valentine’s ago.

I am still in the process of picking up the broken pieces of us since then. You and the rest of the men that I loved in my lifetime made me make Valentine’s Day something I shouldn’t be looking forward to. It’s a highly-commercialized event that don’t even deserve a minute of my time to be thinking about.

They say that every day should be Valentine’s Day, just like Christmas. True love doesn’t have to have special dates or occasions. True love transcends time. I hold on to those.

Setting aside my real thoughts about today, I’d like to thank you for breaking tradition – for bravely sending that message – which I hope was from the heart. It made me think that you actually thought of me. Maybe I do matter to you. It may be the only text that you sent to someone to remind you of the “celebration” today. Or maybe I’m part of a group text. I don’t know. I don’t want to assume. You are the only person who can answer that.

Thank you for breaking tradition. I am glad I crossed your mind today for whatever reason there is. Your message was the only good thing that happened today. And for that, I will be ending today, with a grateful heart to you, for making me smile.

Same Time Last Year

It was exactly a year ago when I wrote something that led me to another year with you.

For whatever reason you had to have the guts to talk to me after what happened, I can only assume. Probably you just wanted to get rid of the guilt you have over what happened between us. But I’d like to think that it’s far from reality that you came back because you wanted to make things right this time.

Fast forward to today, we’ve already had our fair share of what it’s like to be “together” again. Defining whatever we have right now is still far from happening. Countless of times I was already on the verge of asking. But I have great fear of your possible answers.

For now, I’ll let it be. Let time and fate lead me to the answers I’m looking for.

Because I’m a coward. I’m too afraid of the unthinkable. I’m too scared to go back to square one…to start all over again…to finally move on…possibly without you.

Another Goodbye

As much as I wanted to see you tonight before I leave, I opted not to.

Although it’s not a permanent goodbye but more of an I’ll see you soon, it just breaks my heart that I won’t be seeing you again for some time.

I know we don’t feel the same way about it. You’ll go by your usual days. For I am just a random thought for you.

Just the same, I’ll have to get by. I will get by the randomness of the so-called me for you.