The other day, my car got rear-ended in traffic. I let it pass knowing that I’ll have to go through another hassle of having these unruly drivers pay for damages.
Today, I almost got hit by a car while crossing the pedestrian lane in one of the busy streets in the business district. I created a bit of a scene and then walked to where I was supposed to go.
Three days into my birthday, I’m kinda broke and all of these shitty things happen.
It’s not because I’m alone. I’m used to having the bed all to myself.
It’s not because of the bed weather. I’m always looking forward to sleeping through the night with it.
Rainy nights remind me so much of you. A lot of the good and not-so-good memories of you had something to do with nights like tonight.
I miss you and the rainy nights with you.
“… Kung nasabi mong may nagkulang, ibig sabihin ika’y nagbilang… dahil kung ika’y tunay na nagmahal, hindi ka aasang iyon din ang ibibigay sa ‘yong kapalit.”
– Nanay Baby
It’s what you needed. And I’ve been wanting to give you one for the longest time.
It felt great having given one to you tonight. And I hope the hug comforted you and you felt loved.
If I could only give you more, I would do so. I just have to be more courageous next time.
It saddens me that you’re going through all the shitty stuff life has been throwing at you recently.
I never thought that I would see you at your most vulnerable. I’ve always seen you as the stronger one between us.
Don’t give up just like what you did with us. I wouldn’t want to see you give up on life just like that. Your life is more precious than what we had.
I just want you to know that despite your vulnerability and weakness, I am and will be here for you – whether you love me or not.
You have so much ahead of you. Life is beautiful. Don’t let these challenges eat up your sanity. I’ll make sure that that doesn’t happen.
Do you know how it feels to be beside you, wanting to hold your hand, while talking about the challenges you’re facing?
Do you know how it feels to be beside you, wanting to give you a hug that you so need, and yet I couldn’t give you one?
Do you know how much I so want to tell you how much you mean to me and yet I’m too afraid to say it?
Do you know how much I still love you and yet I can only do so from afar?
Sometimes, I can only feel so much.
Sometimes, when I feel so much, it hurts far more than you and I can imagine.
But all these still doesn’t stop me from loving you the way that I know.